we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
