dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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