Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
