i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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