remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
