Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
