I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
