If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
