That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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