Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
