Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
