That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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