saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize