Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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