he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
