About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
