got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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