I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
