We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
tell me about the fingering
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize