I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
