Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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