"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
