I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
dude. I can hear the air.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
