Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
