I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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