is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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