Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
