my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
