my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize