She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
