Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
