so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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