Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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