Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
