Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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