So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
