Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You were trust falling into bushes
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
