i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
