I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
