I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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