I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
