you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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