but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
