i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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