This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
