You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
