Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
