Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
