and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
