I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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