Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
