her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
