Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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