Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
