Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I love you.
Bad choice
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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