You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
