god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
