OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
