Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
