Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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