hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
