I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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