Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
