All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Randomize