Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
